A Change in my Family that has changed my life

On August 31st, 2011 I received the very difficult news that my parents are leaving the Mormon church.


Yeah, wow.


I still, to this day, am not quite sure how to handle it all... (have not talked to them since).


I want to make it known, I LOVE my parents! I do not judge them,  I am sad that things will not be the same between us. Its like a part of me has died, and I am grieving over my loss. Many of you will not understand, but that is because no one was as close to my parents as I was. Really, it was our center in the gospel that glued us together. It was our activity in the church together that brought substance to our relationship. And now that its gone.... what else is there? Yes, there is a love because they are my parents. But to put it more into a reality this is what it is for me....


When I go to bare my testimony to them... all I will be thinking.... They don't believe this, they think I am brainwashed, manipulated to feel this way, and that I have it all wrong.


When I want a "Fathers Blessing" that cannot happen for me. Or any other priesthood ordinance I want Kenny to participate in. Kenny, those blessings were wonderful.


When I am in the temple, I will be missing my mom.


Every memory... my baptism, my confirmation, being away from home and finding myself, my endowment, my sealing, my patriarchal blessing, the amazing experiences I had as a teenager through my activity in the church, sitting in the bathroom reading the book of Mormon while my mom got ready for the day, going to SLC with Kenny and watching the movie on Joseph Smith and crying together, being comforted by my parents when I grieve over not having children yet, being taught all the sweet teachings of the gospel when I was a child, my long car rides with Kenny where we talked about EVERYTHING..... All these memories are tainted because I feel it was all for nothing.


I just want my parents to understand that their reason for leaving is not important to me... I want them to take in how much their decision has affected my heart.


There are some upsides to their decision...


This experience has brought my husband and I closer together than ever before, I truly feel like I "cleave to my spouse" and no one else. He is more important to me than anything.


This experience has challenged me to challenge my own testimony and really be sure that this is what I want.... so far its STILL what I so desire. I am greatful for the challenge.


I have been turning more to Christ and his love is sweet


I have come to appreciate my inlawed family and others more, not because they are LDS and my parents arfen't, but because I pretty much ignored everyone else to stay close to my parents. Now I am taking the time to get to know those I have ignored. I am indeed blessed.


Things that were once important to me do not matter anymore.... I don't care where I live, how much money I have, how my house is decorated, whose approval I meet, all that matters is that I am with my husband, we love each other, and we are happy.


I'm sorry if some of you think I am dealing with this all wrong, but please don't judge me for grieving. It may seem like this is stupid to grieve over, buts its not. At least not to me.